Very little enhances a vaginal victory like a bit of kleptomania.  I’m not referring to emotional theft, most are already well aware of my sick sadistic need in that territory, nor am I painting some clever metaphor about the enjoyment of stolen virginity.  No, I’m talking about tangible items, things of monetary value, and, of course, currencies of varying denominations.  I’m talking about fucking a female, rummaging about her belongings, and leaving with a token of HER appreciation. Read more »

                My bed was a veritable torture device.  My room was a hellish prison.  A chilling sweat coated my grey skin and an aching chasm replaced my intestines.  I tossed and turned violently for hours… haunted by her presence half a world away.  I can’t recall exactly how or when I stumbled across the “Koop Island Blues” video above, but I know her hypnotic influence was traumatizing; never had a witnessed such horrifying beauty, never had I seen a woman like Mia Jacob. Read more »

People like me shouldn’t have happy endings.  Once every few weeks I sit down at my computer, think about the sluts I’ve seduced, and write something horrible.  I’m hardly delusional about the negative karma I’m amassing.

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Bluntly wounding a hoe is difficult and so, for a long time, I avoided it all costs.  Instead of cleanly exorcising a female annoyance from my life, I’d institute a painfully gradual pull out process.  Ultimately, I reasoned, she’d come to realize her feelings were several orders of magnitude more involved than my own and remove herself from the situation.  However, this was rarely the case; usually, much to my chagrin, she would pathetically loiter about my presence while clinging to the hope that I might one day “change”.  My juvenile inability to confront an emotionally invested woman resulted in a fleet of nagging quasi girlfriends – each fully equipped with their own set of dismal maintenance requirements.  Read more »

 Last weekend I had a very typical “guy conversation” with one of my friends in Arlington.
           
            Angelo: “Check that girl out.”
            Friend: “Dude, she’s busted.”
            Angelo: “Whatever, you’d still bang her though.”
            Friend: “DEFINITLY NOT.”
            Angelo: “Okay… what if is it was dark and you were totally hammered?”
            Friend: “Nope.”
            Angelo: “What if it was dark, you were totally hammered, AND she had a bag over her head?”
            Friend: “No.”
            Angelo: “What if it was dark, you were totally hammered, she had a bag over her head, AND…”
            Friend: “Just stop, man.  Just stop.”

Thus was born my version of the Seuss classic “Green eggs and ham”. Read more »